that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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