babies were throwing up all over the place
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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