I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
