So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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