so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize