I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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