do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
