Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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