Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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