Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
PANTIES FOUND
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