Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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