I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
