guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
