porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
