"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
