It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
