I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
