I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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