Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
