We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
