you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
zippers are such a cool invention
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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