Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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