erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
