I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
