She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
