So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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