Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It was confusing and full of hummus
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
