I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize