After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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