I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
