Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
