somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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