so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
