Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
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I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
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I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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