bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
