I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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