i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
