I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
