She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm having to shit out rocks
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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