Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
oh god was she eating orange peels again
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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