It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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