Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize