Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize