you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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