Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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