Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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