Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
MIDGETS
????
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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