Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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