Sponge bath it is.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
