I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
