I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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