so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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