Screwed.edu
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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