Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize