Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
