I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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