My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
