Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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