ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
