Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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