i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
