I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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