I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
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he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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