Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just want nice things and good sex
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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