btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
