East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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