so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
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I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
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I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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