also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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