Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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