Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
