Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
