please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
