whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
