I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
