i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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