if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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