stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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