Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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